I am deep into analyzing my existence, because this is what I do. I journal since I know myself. Actually if was 5th grade when I decided to start, as a writing exercise, as I dreamed of becoming a writer one day and I needed to get started with it by describing what went on in my life. I burned a few notebooks along the way, since I didn’t want people to read them, as I considered them failed attempts, as they started to look more like actual diaries and not real writing. I most feared being considered a bad writer. Or lazy. I was born for greatness! As one does.
Well.. I didn’t become any writer. In 7th grade, my parents and uncles took me to Arts school.
Yes. I didn’t like it. I felt like life had ended for me, and that my born talent in drawing and painting had just sabotaged my whole plan.
Looking back, I don’t regret it, being an art student showed me a side of life that helped me and shaped me into the thing I am today. I am not sure what I am, what I became, if I did become something, since I always feel like I am on the way to somewhere, somewhere else, and that I always put something important on hold, so I can go through what is in front of me at the moment.
So, anyway, as a writing exercise, why not, I wanted to start a series, a list, if we may, of stupid stuff, serious but stupid, as “everything just is”, neutral, and as I like lists, like Umberto Eco did, so here we go.
Just because.
Corollary: We all have stuff we would rather do, when left to our devices, metaphorically or not. Things we can’t wait to do on the weekend, or after school/work, when we are alone and no one sees us. Things that we don’t have to share with the people around us, because there is too much explanation to do. We prefer not to mention it altogether. It does not define us as a person, in society, as a public persona, nobody needs to know, it does not hurt anybody, it is not creepy, it does not make us a bad person, maybe a weird one (I’d say an interesting one, usually) and so, we can just keep it in. We could die and nobody could ever find out. BUT THESE ARE THE MOST COOL THINGS TO KNOW about someone. Please do tell, I want to know, let’s share. I declare this a safe space.
here, I will start.
I declare that I secretly like to search and listen people talk about aliens, I like to find and listen to people that channel alien entities or spirits, like Bashar or Dolores Cannon, and I like to return to society and wonder how does not everybody find this interesting? And then I wonder if people have such strong defense mechanism that they filter these things out so they don’t get mad. It is fun.
How about you?
English